labels and peter pan and all that jazz

i keep thinking of what this all means... MY little one's not well and i'm beside myself in worry... i've been pressing her to "let it go" and now i'm not there to take care of her when the dam breaks... somewhere in this meditation "neverland" appeared... that place where we never have to grow up... that place that's found at the "second start on the right and straight through til morning"...

and from that musing came the notion and the analogy to jazz... that glorious gift of improvisation and genius that's so rare and precious... there are so very many fine musicians... prodigous technique and skill, but oh so few who step beyond training and influences to make something new...

i want to set the record straight once more... MY little one and me (read WE)... beyond our search for understanding and our attmepts at rationality and analysis and "control"... we have assimilated our influences and made a whole new song... something you've never heard before... something unique that fits us...

we're a "style" unto ourselves... and we answer only to heaven in our time...

blessed be MY little one... i am your guy

so you know

in case it hasn't been made clear... MY little one is a most incredible woman... oh now she can't see it herself as often as she should, but i'm here to tell you that no more tender heart exists in all creation... no more complex or deeply loving or passionate or sexy beautiful woman has ever been...

and oh...

she's MINE

Smokin With Fred & Ginger

Well now... Please meet Fred and Ginger (it might have been bogie & bacall)... our custom made hickory paddles only a 1/4" thick... "stingers" I call 'em...

At any rate... if ONE little girl doesn't take an earnest interest in the number of cigarettes she's smoking, the smoke's going to be pouring from her bare bottom...

Say one good hard crack with Fred for every cigarette over the limit ? One for Fred and one for Ginger each ? Let's put it to vote... post your comments folks, what will it be ? 

A grumble post about stubborn Spanker types when they're sick

Why is it when us spankees are sick we get in trouble when we don't call the doctor when we're told to? And when the freakin Spanker types are sick they get by with NOT callin the doctor and we get to worry about them? I just don't think I understand this. Guy has been sick this weekend with a stomach problem he gets every few weeks. He's told me before he'd call the doctor and hasn't done it. Now today he's sayin AGAIN that he will call tomorrow. I guess time will tell but I'll be DAMNED if I'm shuttin up this time until he does!! (grumblin and mumblin and stompin around) MEN MEN MEN!!!! What a pain in the ass they can be!!

Just as I thought

I'm in trouble this morning. Not for posting at 1 AM but rather for being out til almost 1 AM. (sighs) It's not something that I do often... hell, I'm not even sure it's something I've done EVER in the time we've been together. It was supposed to be a short visit to a friends house to see her new puppy and to peek in briefly on a small party. Yeah, yeah... I should have known it wouldn't turn out to be such. My best friend and I wasn't even sure we'd like these people that were at the party so we figured we would pop in and back out quick. Well, the people turned out to be rather cool and the clock just kept ticking.

There was a game of beer pong which I had never played and I must say I was rather good at. I didn't have to drink one single cup of beer. For those of you who haven't heard of beer pong... it goes like this... 10 cups of beer are arranged on each end of a table, in pyramid formation. You have one person on each end (or you can play doubles) and one person tries to sink the ping pong ball into a cup of beer at the other end of the table. If that person sinks it then the other person has to chug that cup of beer... then the empty cup is set aside. The game continues until one side is out of beer cups and that person or team loses and quite possibly is drunk.

As I said, I didn't have to drink one single cup (a blessing for my behind) of beer. Every time I threw I hit the cup and every time our opponent threw they missed. It was nothing but beginners luck, I know. But hey... we WON. I was chicken to test my luck with another game... after all I WAS the designated driver. OK, with that explanation of the game being out of the way... time to move on.

When I'm allowed to drink... I'm only allowed 2 drinks... no if, ands or buts about it. I had my two beers plus a few drinks of my friends beer as well... and when she played beer pong (she lost horribly) I helped her with just a couple swigs of her beer cups as well. I had eaten a good meal right before I had my beer and I spaced them out perfectly as to not even get a buzz. (unfortunately) Not only that... I smoked WAYYY too much. (<-- reads trouble) So needless to say... he's upset with me and he's sick (which makes me wayyyy sad) and I'm in trouble. He says I was just doing what I damn well please but I say I did damn good being in the situation I was in. Yes, I had a little more than my allowed two beers but why does that always have to be so set in stone? Yes, I smoked too much and he's tryin to get me on my way to quitting altogether. Yes, I suppose I was out too late but there wasn't a curfew set. OK... so if you look at this as there being no "gray" area... I suppose I did just totally disobey. I don't know... I'm just rambling and tryin to work it out in my head. That's what I started this blog for anyhow... for me to ramble and get things off my chest. No one has to read this if they don't want to cuz it really is for me... I have to keep tellin myself that. If it's boring there is always that little red "x" at the top right hand corner of your screen. Feel free to use it. (smirk)

Happy Birthday, My Love

I am soooo sad that we didn't get to spend this day together in each other's arms... when I know it's where we belong. I thought about you all day long... longing to be with you... in your arms and over your knee, just where I belong.

When I got home tonight it actually made me sad to read your post. I don't like you feeling the way you do tonight. I wanna make it all better.

Yes, you're right... I am going thru one of "those times" right now. One of those times where nothing can make it better except for being over your knee. But, I know it's not to happen right now... that makes me sad too. When I get sad about that it makes "those times" so much worse. I wish I had an answer for it... but there is only ONE answer for it... but it can't happen, so it's just a neverending cycle.

There's so much more I wanna say but I know I'm gonna be in trouble for posting at 1 AM so I guess it will keep til morning. Just know that I love you and I miss you and I'm sorry this day wasn't for us alone.

Tonight's Musings

Today's my birthday. I miss MY little one so terribly. I'm not "there" right now and she's going through one of "those times" when she knows she's unfocused and needs a spanking to set her on the straight path. She's had some corner time, but she needs more. I've encouraged her to post her mood and her feelings here. Another day like this and it's going to be more than encouragement she gets.

Today's my birthday and I feel "old". Sometimes I feel like time is running out and I ask how can I let another day pass without turning everyone's world upside down and getting on with what I know is right.

If I do anything tonight, it's to tell the world here and now (my only way to shout it from the mountaintop), that there is only ONE in my life's time. She's mine, and I'm blessed beyond all joy and understanding in her and with her and for her. I want more than just her to know. I want the world to know... just in case I'm as old tonight as I will ever be... She can point her best friends here and say, "this man knew me and loved me and got me"

like no other... MY little one... for always...

i am YOUR Guy

a "them" poem

Them Brat Spankers - (with apologies to Mason Williams)

How about them brat spankers, ain’t they snappy
Spankin them cranky brats, sure makes ‘em happy

Spankin them big brats, spanking them whiny
Spankin them sassy brats, on they heiney

How about them brat spankers, ain’t they strict
Some use a hair brush, some use a switch

Them whacky smacky brat spankers, all that poutin’
Spankin them naughty brats, ‘til they’s a shoutin’

How to be a brat spanker, it’ll get ya higher
Get yourself a feisty brat and set her ass on fire.

© Guy - 2005

My response to his "Past Due" post

I've tried to post about our weekend together several times now, but alas, the words just wouldn't come. I had a post started the day after he spanked me but I just kept procrastinating. Why, I'm not sure. So many feelings maybe that I just couldn't sort them out. Maybe it just took too much effort on my part. For whatever the reason I was determined that I wasn't going to do it. I was even ready to delete my draft I had started, but noooooo someone wouldn't let me. So I asked HIM to do the post instead of me. But again... noooooo. He said he'd planned on posting about it but I had to as well. (me growling and pouting at this point)

He had posted about it last night and I didn't know it cuz I didn't get his email for me to check the blog until bedtime and HE didn't mention that he'd posted or that he'd emailed me. (btw oh spankerloverman of mine.. my email notifier isn't workin... lol) He just loves hearing that kind of stuff in this manner. LOL!

So this is my semi bratty post. Not what he wanted no doubt but hey, it's a post! Anyway, on with it...

Yes, Friday he gave me exactly what I needed. Only problem was, I needed MORE... dammit. Was I being greedy? Maybe. Guess that depends on how ya look at it. Yes, I should have been thankful for what alone time we did have on Friday and our weekend together... and I WAS/AM. After Friday our weekend was spent geekin' on three computers in the house and dinners out with him, but not alone. (more growling and pouting)

He spanked me hard and fast from the get go. (not good on a bottom that's been neglected for months on end) I was kicking and screaming from the first spank with a little scolding for blaming myself for our day falling apart. After he finished with my spanking he stood me up and hugged me tight and ran his finger down to find my pussy wet and hot waiting for him. As he fingered me as I was standing (groan swoon groan) up he whispered huskily how wet I was and asked me what I needed. As he said in his post, I was unable to tell him this until after he made me cum several times and he filled me full with his own. (sighs) I've yet to figure out why this is soooo difficult for me... but more on that later maybe. I knew that I needed him so hard and soooooo deep inside me... but I just couldn't say it. But he knew it anyway of course... and that is exactly what I got. After he licked and fingered my eager pussy to a couple mind shattering orgasms he entered me sooooo slow and gentle... seating himself deep inside me... just staying still. It was explosive just to feel him fill me full. I wanted to stay like that forever but yet I kept finding myself tryin to thrust myself up and down on his cock. We stayed still for a bit longer just relishing the feel of each other and our union. He began thrusting in and out slowly, eliciting moans and groans from me. With each thrust from him I could feel the strength of his love. Then finally, what I really needed most from him... him cumming sooooo deep inside me... filling me full of his love and passion.

I felt better than I did before we started, by all means. But like I said, I just needed more and time just wasn't gonna permit that at that point. (sighs) So, was I being greedy?

Hmmmm, (lookin back over this and thinkin maybe I did a little better than I thought I would at this post... maybe it wasn't semi bratty afterall) we'll see.

Always about me?

I innocently walk in the room and there he sits, on the straight back chair, no nonsense, strictly business look framing his whole being. I wasn't expecting him tonight, but I needed him so badly. My mood was dark. How did he know this? How does he know these things I need when I need them?

He crooks a finger at me as he reaches behind him with the other hand picking up the paddle, his dark, stormy look never leaving my being. I knew what I needed just as he knew, but I wasn't ready for it. Am I ever ready for it when I'm in this mood of mine? He's still crooking a finger at me as I stay frozen in my steps, our eyes frozen to one another. His body is rigid, his eyes dark but at the same time so full of love.

I break our stare and glance over to the table. I see the strap lying there as if it were daring me. Then, his voice, as if it were coming out of the walls. "Don't make it harder than it has to be, little one." His words didn't register. I was brought back to reality by the grasp of his rough, steel-like hand squeezing my arm, urging me to follow.

He sat back down in the chair, trying to tug me over his knee, much to my resistance. I needed this... how he knew this tonight... how he knows this ALL the time is just so beyond me. At the same time, knowing I need this so badly... I'm fighting every step of the way. The wondering thought of... if he ever "needs" this like I do.

He gently pats his thigh... "Come here little one, over my knee. I NEED this tonight."

Past Due

I've been wanting to post this "follow-up" about our weekend together, but it's been crazy and mood's not been the best on either end. I think that comes with being apart again, when the joy and "connection" is so much more when we're together... MY little one and I...

WE as I so often call us, because our beings are so completely tied into each other and we're so inextricably bound together. Even when we're apart, but even more when we're hand in hand.

Our alone time was short, but WE had the entire weekend together, and we accomplished alot with the computer network and just being. Our time is never enough, and it's odd how that sounds. She's with me every moment, so much a part of me, and yet she's miles and miles away most of the time. There's a sense of urgency but a sense of patience too. If we spent every minute in each other's arms it wouldn't somehow be "enough"... that's how deep WE are.

Our intimate time was cut short, and of course she blamed herself for it, which "winds me up to no end"... We both had plans and designs on the time we wanted and we surely were ready and needing the release of spanking "hot monkey" (laughing at the brat's words) love.

I'd planned on being gentle at first. I'd planned on spanking her bottom so hard and so long she'd still be sitting gingerly. I'd planned on kissing her all over til she passed out cumming... well just you wait little girl... your time will come yet !

I had to decide what there was time for, and somehow I made time for both. MY little one got a spanking she won't soon forget; hard from the start and a dose of that wicked CB paddle that I refinished with a special "stingy" coating. As much as we needed tenderness, she needed that blistering more. She's been up and down and down and up, and taking me with her more often than not. She'd been good in so many ways. She'd been a terror in too many ones. So the spanking was inevitable. It wasn't enough. She KNOWS it, but the slate's clean and while her mood's been swinging still, she's been mostly good and I'm very proud of her.

With a seriously hot behind we made love. Before I took her over my knee, I'd asked her as I stripped her clothes off "what do you want little girl", and as usual, she was only able to tell me afterward. Knowing in advance I think, what we both wanted; her with a searing bottom, and me rock hard deep inside her, spasming over and over in the throes of a passion for WE that burns so hot.

It was all over too quicky, and yet, it reinforced more deeply than ever, how MY little one is the ONLY one... How even when the world lays obstacle after obstacle in our path, that we've found the one thing in creation that's worth all the trials... we've found WE !

Now... she has got to respond to this post... orders from YOUR GUY little girl... and I just want to close by calling up a quote by Albert Einstein...

"Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted."

I LOVE YOU litte one

Dancing and Waking - two poems for MY little one

my life danced,
and reasoned i,
that certainly and solely
and once only
in my lifes (sigh)

lonely one step (two)

so damned fast
that all
the breath and the
peace and the thrill
and the fire
and the love is

a two step (you)

_____________________


if…

at the first
waking mindful moment
when dreams reason
surrenders to gentle lightning

before i am conscious
of my own breath rising

or even why (or how)

were i not
to find
you in & of me

there’d be no grace
of living past (just now)

© Guy - 2005

Sneaky, he is

Yes, he is... lol. He wasn't meant to see my first post until AFTER the weekend but the little sneak found access to a computer along the way. How dare he... lol

Well, today is the day. I was awake all night thinking of being with him... dreading but yet somehow looking forward, at the same time, to the spanking that is waiting me. It never ceases to amaze me how the mixed emotions are always there when I have a spanking coming. I wish I could say this was just gonna be a sexy spanking or even just a spanking for spanking's sake kinda spankin but alas, not this time. I'm ready to get this behind me and start anew. It's been hangin over my head for far too long now.

As I said yesterday, today will be our only chance for "alone time" but I do get to spend the whole weekend with him. So I guess I should be thankful for that huh? OK, so I can be selfish sometimes. I want him all to myself!!! Nobody else around, just me and him... a long sexy, spank-filled weekend. But unfortunately, it's not to be...dammit!!

More later this weekend...

First Post

I am new to the blogger world and feel rather inadequate with this being my first post but, nonetheless, here I am. There are so many noteworthy blogs out there that require honorable mentions but, until I know just what the heck I am doing, that will have to wait... lol.

This blog will be a type of refuge for me and a place to express my feelings outloud, so to speak. Some would say I'm not the best at talking about my feelings so this might actually be a good thing. This blogging thing was actually my significant other's idea. It's taken me several months to actually begin since he first mentioned it. I never said I was quick to try something I'm not sure I want to... lol. So together this will be a journey through our relationship, our mutual desire of spanking and discipline, and our lives outside of one another even.

This past June it was four years ago that we met through our mutal interest in spanking and discipline, looking for like-minded mates. We've been through so much together since then. Our lives have been turned upside down with the death and serious illness of loved ones, and having to relocate, creating far too much geographical distance between us, thus making us work even harder at our relationship.

This coming weekend is presenting an opportunity for us to be reunited once again. Needless to say we both are lookin QUITE forward to this. It's been far too long since we've seen each other, since we've held each other, looked into one anothers eyes and of course, far too long since I've been over his knee. And far too long since we've made mad, passionate love to each other. Hopefully this weekend we'll be having wild monkey sex once again... Friday to be specific since that is our only potential chance for alone time this weekend.

Now on the spanking note... I have a LOT of "accounting" to do. Yes, I am RATHER nervous but I trust him with all that I am and I know that he will be fair, loving, and sensitive as always. On the other hand, he will be strong, and stern, having that menacing look and tone about him. That look and tone that just sends chills and goosebumps coursing all through my body. That look that makes my tummy do fliplops and my heart almost short circuit. It's been at least five months since he's blistered my bottom and if you knew me at ALL... you would know that this is just wayyyyyyy too long for me to go without any kind of a spanking whatsoever. The demons start creeping in way before that and they just begin taking over... slowly, methodically and quite fully. The brat side of me comes out in FULL swing... attitude, language, disrespect and disregard for my well-being. Until I am spanked again good and proper there is just this niggly feeling that nothing is right. It wakes me up at night and prevents me from going back to sleep. I end up hating myself for my behaviors and it just begins one, long downhill spiral. I don't like myself much for acting that way and in turn, not liking myself I act out more harmful behavior... and the cycle continues, that is until I'm able to find my place over his knee, his firm hand heating up my backside the way only he can do.

So, with any luck, this time tomorrow I'll be over his knee, kicking, screaming and pleading with him to stop, but knowing that I really need him to continue even if my backside disagrees totally! Know what the great part of that is? He knows just when to keep on and just when to stop... no matter what I say. He knows me so well. When I think there isn't much to smile about I can think about just how well he knows me and I can once again smile. After he's finished with me I know all that can be right with the world right now, will be.

There will be an update when time permits. Hopefully that won't be until AFTER this weekend. :) So stay tuned.

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