Relfecting
When I was doing the "100 Things About Me" post yesterday. It really got me reflecting on days gone by.
I got to reading old emails that Guy and I have exchanged over the years, especially our earlier ones from when we first met. I was really astounded at the point in my life he entered, and what all he's been through with me and done for me. He's been through so much of the bad stuff that has happened in my life, and yet he's still by my side, loving me more than he ever has.
He came into my life not long after I found out my Dad was terminally ill. Sheesh, I just think back of all the times he was there for me during that time, how he felt when my Dad finally found his eternal peace. He was so heartsick. He was always there for me when we had our few midnight runs to the hospital because Hospice couldn't help us with what was going on at that moment. He always picked up the pieces for me. Heck, he never failed to pick ME up when I went to pieces. I always felt I had to be the strong one during those times for my Mother and my Dad both. I didn't fall to pieces in your typical way. I fell to pieces by withdrawing, getting sucked into all the sadness that was going on in my life, not taking care of my own health problems and etc. He kept me grounded, the hard job that I know it was.
Guy told me from the beginning that he would always be there for me. On the surface I knew that he would, but deep down I figured it would just be like the others in my life that had left me or let me down, but as I sit here today I'm struck with the reality of his words from way back then, and ya know what... he IS still here... with ME! If I sound amazed at that, I guess it's because I really am. I guess I never feel worthy of someone sticking with me through the things he has. When my Dad died, he was my rock. When I was adjusting to life without him (my Dad), he was my rock. When my Mother became deathly ill and wasn't expected to make through the present night, he was my rock! When I was nursing her back to health the whole next year, he was my rock! He NEVER failed me, not ONCE! He's proven himself to me over and over again. As much as I'd like to say he didn't HAVE to prove himself, I guess he really did have to. Not that I ever consciously knew that he needed to. Regardless of whether he had to or not... he has... over and over and over again!
He's been right there for me too with many issues with my son. Through all his seizure problems clear through the recent diagnosis of Glaucoma. (And many more problems inbetween!) He's such an amazing man who knows me so well, better than I know myself. I never thought this was possible, but he's showed me it is. I now KNOW that he will be there whatever arises, be it good or be it bad. His love for me IS truly unconditional, just as he's always told me it would be.
I can't even begin to touch on what this man has done for me in the few short years I've known him, and keep this blog post down to where one could read it in a reasonable amount of time. This is just some of the bigger stuff that's he's been by my side through, and I felt compelled to write about after reading old emails and reflecting on old phone conversations and old face to face talks. Only he knows what it means to me and what exactly he has done for me because I could never put it into the right words for you all to understand.
______________________________________________________
I thank you hon, for always walking by my side, guiding me, protecting me, urging me, nurturing me, loving me, being my rock, and picking up my pieces when I was broke! I love you more and more each day, more than the day I finally realized that I was actually in love with you. Thank you for being the strong yet gentle, loving, firm handed man you are, and thanks for being MINE, always supporting me no matter what I'm doing or going through.
I got to reading old emails that Guy and I have exchanged over the years, especially our earlier ones from when we first met. I was really astounded at the point in my life he entered, and what all he's been through with me and done for me. He's been through so much of the bad stuff that has happened in my life, and yet he's still by my side, loving me more than he ever has.
He came into my life not long after I found out my Dad was terminally ill. Sheesh, I just think back of all the times he was there for me during that time, how he felt when my Dad finally found his eternal peace. He was so heartsick. He was always there for me when we had our few midnight runs to the hospital because Hospice couldn't help us with what was going on at that moment. He always picked up the pieces for me. Heck, he never failed to pick ME up when I went to pieces. I always felt I had to be the strong one during those times for my Mother and my Dad both. I didn't fall to pieces in your typical way. I fell to pieces by withdrawing, getting sucked into all the sadness that was going on in my life, not taking care of my own health problems and etc. He kept me grounded, the hard job that I know it was.
Guy told me from the beginning that he would always be there for me. On the surface I knew that he would, but deep down I figured it would just be like the others in my life that had left me or let me down, but as I sit here today I'm struck with the reality of his words from way back then, and ya know what... he IS still here... with ME! If I sound amazed at that, I guess it's because I really am. I guess I never feel worthy of someone sticking with me through the things he has. When my Dad died, he was my rock. When I was adjusting to life without him (my Dad), he was my rock. When my Mother became deathly ill and wasn't expected to make through the present night, he was my rock! When I was nursing her back to health the whole next year, he was my rock! He NEVER failed me, not ONCE! He's proven himself to me over and over again. As much as I'd like to say he didn't HAVE to prove himself, I guess he really did have to. Not that I ever consciously knew that he needed to. Regardless of whether he had to or not... he has... over and over and over again!
He's been right there for me too with many issues with my son. Through all his seizure problems clear through the recent diagnosis of Glaucoma. (And many more problems inbetween!) He's such an amazing man who knows me so well, better than I know myself. I never thought this was possible, but he's showed me it is. I now KNOW that he will be there whatever arises, be it good or be it bad. His love for me IS truly unconditional, just as he's always told me it would be.
I can't even begin to touch on what this man has done for me in the few short years I've known him, and keep this blog post down to where one could read it in a reasonable amount of time. This is just some of the bigger stuff that's he's been by my side through, and I felt compelled to write about after reading old emails and reflecting on old phone conversations and old face to face talks. Only he knows what it means to me and what exactly he has done for me because I could never put it into the right words for you all to understand.
______________________________________________________
I thank you hon, for always walking by my side, guiding me, protecting me, urging me, nurturing me, loving me, being my rock, and picking up my pieces when I was broke! I love you more and more each day, more than the day I finally realized that I was actually in love with you. Thank you for being the strong yet gentle, loving, firm handed man you are, and thanks for being MINE, always supporting me no matter what I'm doing or going through.
posted by little one | 1/12/2006 09:34:00 AM
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